I've fogotten who to take my problems and concers to. I've been tengled into a web of confusion, doubt and self pity. I've allowed my own fears, failed attemtps at unaccomplished dreams; to hinder me from a life a part.
And With the Wisdom of My Lord Most High Most Great, He has let me drag along likea slug on a rainy hot day, in this deceiving web long enough , for me to see what self pity , lack of determination and no reliance can do. Even when you think youre on top of things you must always remember to grab hold to your religion and not let it go. I love my Lord Most High , and it's time to show it from the inside out, for His sake alone!! Not because my own selfish goals, or not because my teacher expects it out of me, or because this and that person did it, or because they think i can; rather because my Lord has sent regulations upon this earth for those who wish to take heed , and He has made waajib upon me certains things, and He has sent parables and lessons in This Book Al Quraan Al Kaarim, for us to read, memorize, and implement into our daily lives.
Giving up hope, and having lack of determination will not do anything for a person who wishes to see Allah face on that Inveitable Day, which Our Lord promised .
The point is, rather i have someone around me to tell me keep going, or to believe in me, or to help me, i still have this Book to Guide me, and Allah to answer me in the third of the night. I have Allah Al 3'la at my disposal and I still try to handle affairs on my own. Astagfirullah. Yaa Rabbi.
I see now that it's not about who your teacher is, or what you use to do, or what your friends know, or how you USE to be, rather its who you ARe, what you do with the teacher you have, and how competetive you are in seeking knoweldge with your righteous and upright friends. Its about fighting Jihaadul nafs every single second of the day, its about Fighting in the case of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'la , for YOUR sake, meaning whilst in your grave and standing to be taken account of. All your writtings, your reading, your praying, your memorization is only a goodly Loan to Allah for YOUR own sake, not his, Allah is Al Ghaani and free of need from anyone and anything.
So its time I wake up and see where my focus should really be, and even when I thought i knew before this is Allah reminding me just in case i forgot, and surely I have forgotten. This is not a joke, this life of ours.
" Qul inni salaati wa nusuki wa mahyaati wa mamaati lillahi rabbil 3alaameen laa sharikalah..."
"Say my praying and my sacarficing and my living and my dying is for Allah, The Lord of all that exist, and I associate nothing onto him...."
And this is what we are meant to live by, "mahyaati wa mamaati" ; " My living andmy dying" you know what that means? it means " kulli nafsi qaaidatil maut" ; " Every soul shall taste death" Which means we must prepare for it, and we must lend a goodly loan to Allah so we may have something to show for us on that day, keeping in mind that Allah has no need of us, or we're not doing this because Allah 'needs' us to, rather He is Rich and free from all needs, and we need HIM!
So may Allah azza wa jal make all of the Mu'min strive in his cause. Make our living and dying truely for His sake, and His sake alone. because " Verily in the rememberance of Allah do hearts find rest"....and...."Verily the party of Allah is the sucessful party"...and..." Those who will be given their books in their right hand will say "here read my record""
and..." Those who will be given their book in their left hand will say I wish that i had not been giving it and i wish that I knew not what my account was I wish that it ( meaning death) would have been my end"
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'la have mercy upon us and make us from those who recieve their record in their Right hand and be delighted on that day, and whose graves are spacious and The Jannah is opened up for Allahuma AMEEN!!!!!!!
Yaa Al Ghafoor forgive me for where i fall short, what i forgot, and what i did knwoingly and what i did unknowingly Ameen Yaa Ar Raheem have mercy upon me like you had mercy upon Ebraahim when you saved him from the fire, and have Mercy upon me like you had mercy on the people of the cave Ameen. Guide me and make me from ashabul yameen Ameen Set me upright and make me from al mutaqoon Yaa Dhul Jalaali wal Ikraam Ameen.
Sufficent for me is Allah, Rabbus Samawaat wal ard. And no one and nothing is more Beloved by me than Allah azza wa jal and Rasulullah ( sallallahu alahi wa salaam).
"Fasabbih bismi rabbikal Adheem"
"So Glorified be the name of your Lord The Superme"
Was salaamu alay
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